Subject: Definitions (Page 37)

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Juvenile Delinquents: Other people’s children.

Definitions

Atomic Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Definitions

Experience: What you get from being inexperienced.

Definitions

Marriage: A process of finding out what sort of guy your wife would have preferred.

Definitions Marriage

Social Diseases: Germs of endearment.

Definitions

Christian: One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbors. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Woodpecker: A knocking bird.

Definitions

Husband: A person who is the boss of his house and has his wife’s permission to say so.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

Two-minute warning: When your baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Definitions

Rummage Sale: Where you buy stuff from somebody else’s attic to store in your own.

Activities Definitions Shopping Things

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Money Things

Take Home Pay: An amount of money which is called that because it is never big enough to go anywhere else with it.

Definitions Money

Virtue: Lack of opportunity.

Characteristics Definitions

Humility: The ability to act ashamed when you tell people how wonderful you are.

Definitions

Ascribe: Newspaper reporter.

Definitions

Antibody: Against everyone.

Definitions Wordplay

Advice: the smallest current coin.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Opinion

Accountant: One who uses your books to figure his profit.

Definitions Occupations

Trick Photography: Focus pocus.

Definitions

Belly: The veranda over the toy shop.

Appearance Body Definitions

Falsies: Making mountains out of molehills.

Appearance Clothing Definitions