Entertainment | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Entertainment (Page 27)

You might be a redneck if… you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

Jeff Foxworthy

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

The trouble with nude dancing is that not everything stops when the music stops.

Robert Helpmann

(1909 – 1986) Australian dancer, actor, theater director & choreographer

Body Dance Entertainment Referring to nude actors in the musical “Oh! Calcutta!"

[Caddyshack] was a six-million-dollar scholarship to film school.

Harold Ramis

(1944 – 2014) American actor, director & writer

Education Entertainment Film "Caddyshack"

Everybody tells jokes, but we still need comedians.

Jimmy Wales

(1966 – ) entrepreneur, founder of Wikipedia

Entertainment Comedians Jokes

If my films don’t show a profit, I know I’m doing something right.

Woody Allen

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Entertainment Film Money Profit

I'm convinced that his voice comes out of his eyelids.

Oscar Levant

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

Entertainment People Perry Como Singing

It is disappointing to report that George Bernard Shaw appearing as George Bernard Shaw is sadly miscast in the part; satirists should be heard and not seen.

Robert E. Sherwood

(1896 – 1955) American playwright

Acting Entertainment Insults George Bernard Shaw

Timing is not so much knowing when to speak, but when to pause.

Jack Benny

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host

Entertainment Comedy Timing

The Catholic Church is still very angry about The Da Vinci Code… they don’t like anything that makes more money in a weekend than they do.

Jay Leno

(1950 – ) comedian & television host

Entertainment Film Money Catholics The Da Vinci Code

My Comedy Channel – Fox News

My News Channel Comedy Central

Protest sign

Entertainment Signs Television

One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there’s a good chance no one’s heard it before.

Doug Larson

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

Communication Entertainment Audiences Jokes

Sophia Loren plays peasants; I play ladies.

Gina Lollobrigida

(1927 – ) Italian actress & photojournalist

Acting People Self Sophia Loren

Apparently the understudy had to go because of her throat; I suppose someone threatened to cut it.

Mrs. Patrick Campbell

(1865-1940) English actress

Acting Entertainment Insults Reviews/Criticism

I am a typed director; if I made Cinderella, the audience would immediately be looking for a body in the coach.

Alfred Hitchcock

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer

Entertainment Film Audiences Directors

There are three basic rules for great comedy; unfortunately no-one can remember what they are.

Arthur Smith

(1954 – ) English comedian writer

Entertainment Comedy

Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.

Elizabeth Taylor

(1932 – 2011) British-American actress

Entertainment Actors Leading men

It's not music, it's a disease.

Mitch Miller

(1911 – 2010) American bandleader

Entertainment Music Reviews/Criticism Of rock'n'roll

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

George Carlin

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

Dance Entertainment Intelligence Music Hearing

Classical Jazz: Rock of ages.

Anonymous

Definitions Music Classical Jazz

Kind of like the difference between making love and masturbation, I’d say.

Susan Sarandon

(1946 – ) American actress & activist

Acting Entertainment Responding to the question “What to you is the difference between stage and film?”

Television Programming: Material that fills the time between commercials.