Subject: Entertainment (Page 37)

I watch so much Netflix that, rather than suggesting more shows for me to watch, it’s started suggesting I go outside.

British stand-up comedian
Entertainment Television

Piano: A parlor utensil for subduing the impertinent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Entertainment Music Things

Fiddle: An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Definitions Music

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Communication Emotions Entertainment Laughter

I used to be a mime…. but now I can talk about it…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Entertainment Occupations Speech Work

I don’t like to watch golf on television because I can’t stand people who whisper.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Golf Speech Sports Television

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Entertainment Film Sports

An actor is the kind of guy who, if you ain't talking about him, ain't listening.

(1910 – 1984) American film producer & publicist
Acting Entertainment Occupations

If you bet on a horse, that's gambling. If you bet you can make three spades, that's entertainment. If you bet cotton will go up three points, that's business. See the difference?

(1919 – ) American sportswriter
Entertainment Sports

Inviting her to review one of your pictures is like inviting the Boston Strangler to massage your neck.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Entertainment Film

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.

(1924 – 1984) American author
Entertainment Life Reading/Writing

I want to be a diva… like people-totally-respect-my-music diva, not diva like carry-my-Diet-Coke-around.

(1980 – ) American singer
Music Success

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be… it is what it used to be; that is what's wrong with it.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Music Reviews/Criticism

I always thought I'd go to the Oscars, but only as a stalker.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Entertainment Film People Self

The trouble with nude dancing is that not everything stops when the music stops.

(1909 – 1986) Australian dancer, actor, theater director & choreographer
Body Dance Entertainment

The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Entertainment Government Situations

People think I hate sex; I don’t; I just don’t like things that stop you seeing the television properly.

(1953 – 2016) British comedian, actress, singer & screenwriter
Entertainment Sex Television

[Caddyshack] was a six-million-dollar scholarship to film school.

(1944 – 2014) American actor, director & writer
Education Entertainment Film

A glorified bandmaster.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Insults Music

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
America Places Television