Subject: Family » Mothers (Page 2)

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Family Mothers

If I was playing third base and my mother rounded third with the winning run, I’d trip her up.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Family Mothers Sports

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them; my mother cleans them.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Family Housework Mothers

We have a beautiful little girl who we named after my mom; in fact Passive Aggressive Psycho turns five tomorrow.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Children Family Mothers Old

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Cooking Eating Food/Drink Mothers

Children aren’t happy with nothing to ignore, And that’s what parents were created for.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Children Family Fathers Mothers Parents

Four words every mom dreads hearing: “You're under arrest, mom.”


Family Mothers

Socialite: Whatever possessed you to be born in a place like Lowell, Massachusetts?

Whistler: I wished to be near my mother.

(1834 – 1903) American-born, British-based artist
Family Mothers Places

Her mother was a cultivated women… she was born in a greenhouse.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Family Mothers

The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology.

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Children Family Mothers

Did you ever meet a mother who’s complained that her child phoned her too often… me neither.

(1946 – ) British actress, columnist & comedian
Children Communication Family Mothers

I didn’t hate my mother; it was an accident!

(1940 – 1994) Puerto Rican actor
Mothers TV/Movie Quotes

I get on very well with my parents, give or take my mother.

English comedian & actor
Family Mothers Parents

When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring; when she was in a good mood it turned blue… in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead.

comedian
Family Mothers

As my mother used to say, ‘You’ll get unconditional love from me when you’ve earned it.

(1954 – ) American stand-up comedian
Emotions Family Mothers Relationships

It’s better to be black than gay, because when you’re black you don’t have to tell your mother.

(1926 – 1999) actor, comedian & female impersonator
Family Mothers

Moms Who Drink and Swear

Book Titles Mothers

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Men Mothers People

You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you Can't Fool Mom.

Mothers Murphy’s Laws People

How do I explain her? [her mother] She’s as respected as Mother Theresa, she’s as powerful as Stalin, and she’s as beautiful as Margaret Thatcher.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Family Mothers TV/Movie Quotes

The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Communication Entertainment Family Mothers