Subject: Family » Mothers (Page 4)

When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring; when she was in a good mood it turned blue… in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead.

comedian
Family Mothers

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don’t want them to become politicians in the process.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Family Government Mothers Politicians President

I’ve been like a mother to that girl. I’ve locked her in her room, told her she was fat, and once I even left her in a store!

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Family Mothers TV/Movie Quotes

The Good Mommies’ Guide To Raising (Almost) Perfect Daughters

Book Titles Family Mothers

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them; my mother cleans them.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Family Housework Mothers

Moms Who Drink and Swear

Book Titles Mothers

My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Family Fathers Mothers World

I get on very well with my parents, give or take my mother.

English comedian & actor
Family Mothers Parents

I’ve been here eight months and have been in two earthquakes, a race riot, floods and fires, and I left New York because I couldn’t handle my mother.

comedian & television writer
Family Mothers Places

You’re not famous until my mother has heard of you.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Mothers Success

Mother, there are terrorist cells that are more nurturing than you are.

(1958 – ) American actor & producer
Family Mothers TV/Movie Quotes

My mother always told me I wouldn’t amount to anything because I procrastinate; I said ‘Just wait.’

(1956 – ) American entertainer & comedian
Characteristics Family Mothers

The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Communication Entertainment Family Mothers

When I was a kid, I got no respect. I told my mother I’m gonna run away from home. She said, “On your mark…”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Mothers Self

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Body Mothers Science/Weather

You might be a redneck if… you have a bumper sticker that says, "MY MOTHER'S AN HONOR STUDENT AT SOUTH LITTLE ROCK JR. HIGH."

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education Mothers People Rednecks School

Raised by two mothers? … Wow, most of us barely survive one.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Family Mothers

I know how to do anything — I’m a mom.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Characteristics Family Mothers

My father was a simple man; my mother was a simple woman; you see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Family Fathers Fools Intelligence Mothers People Self

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Family Mothers

Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Children Communication Misspokements Mothers