Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 6)

The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober.

(1865 – 1939) Irish poet & politician
Alcohol Food/Drink Insults People

I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Eating Food/Drink

I got so drunk one night I woke up in a chalk outline.

American comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

I remember when I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills… my doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Health Situations Sleep

Burt Johnson: I don't drink because drinking affects your decision-making.

Arthur: You may be right… I can't decide.

(1935 – 2002) English actor, comedian, composer & musician
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol

There are two reasons for drinking: one is when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it.

(1785 – 1866) English novelist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink

You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink Places

Hangover: The wrath of grapes.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink

Oh my God, how can you drink straight orange juice first thing in the morning?

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Never buy a drink for the road, because the road is already laid out.

(1933 – 1998) comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

As soon as they get married, they all get these big old guts on them; that's not from drinking beer – that's from swallowing pride.

stand-up comedian
Alcohol Body Fat Husbands Marriage Men People

They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Alcohol Baseball Food/Drink Sports

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

(1953 – ) American singer, songwriter, actor, author & radio personality
Activities Alcohol

Being a Scotsman, I am naturally opposed to water in its undiluted state.

(1870 – 1934) British golf course architect
Alcohol Food/Drink

When he buys his ties he has to ask if gin will make them run.

(1896 – 1940) American author of novels & short stories
Alcohol Food/Drink

I envy people who drink… at least they have something to blame everything on.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink People

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol… it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.

(1946 – 2005) Irish professional football player
Alcohol People Women

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

(1879 – 1964) British politician
Alcohol Emotions Food/Drink Happiness

What am I drinking? … NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink Health