Subject: Government (Page 12)

I must choose my words carefully in order to avoid any negative interpretation; among politicians, this is a tactic known as lying.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Characteristics Government Honesty Lies Politicians

Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects.

(1897 – 1972) Canadian prime minister
Government Politics

What IS a ‘moderate Iranian,’ anyway?… someone who takes hostages but doesn't eat them?

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Government Places Politics

You campaign in poetry, you govern in prose.

(1947 – ) U.S. Secretary of State, senator (New York) & first lady
Elections/Voting Government

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal," "Thou shalt not commit adultery," and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Government Lawyers Politicians Situations

Whatever organization we try to create, it always ends up looking like the Communist Party.

(1938 – 2010) Russian politician
Government Places

Bureaucracy is the epoxy that greases the wheels of progress.

(1925 – 2010) American humorist & writer
Government Situations

According to reports, President Bush and John Kerry have combined $23 million left over from the 2004 presidential campaign, while Ralph Nader recently discovered some old gum in his hair.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Elections/Voting Politicians TV/Movie Quotes

The question about those aromatic advertisements that perfume companies are having stitched into magazines these days is this: under the freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment, is smelling up the place a constitutionally protected form of expression?

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Government

I don't know what was wrong with my television last night, but I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station, and I actually bought a congressman.

(1951 – ) American comedian & writer
Congress Entertainment Government Politicians Television

I understand that Congress has taken the first step in the fight against air pollution: limiting the speeches to five minutes.

Congress Government

As long as you are a tax deduction, you will always be safe in my house.

(1961 – ) American comedian, actor & talk show host
Government Taxes

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.

Military Murphy’s Laws

I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago, because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Death Places Politics

If Voting Changed Anything, They’d Made It Illegal

Elections/Voting Signs

When I take action, I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Conflict Government War

When God created Republicans, he gave up on everything else.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Beliefs Government

Frankly, I don’t mind not being president; I just mind that someone else is.

(1932 – 2009) U.S. senator (Massachusetts)
Government President

People try to live within their income so they can afford to pay taxes to a government that can't live within its income.

businessman
Government Money Taxes

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor.

(1912 – 2007) U.S. first lady, wife of Lyndon Johnson
Government Insults Politicians

Armies aren't known for neatness.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Government Military