Subject: Government (Page 22)

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Government Places

Do you realize we’re only a heart attack away from Bush being president?

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Death Government President

I belong to no organized party… I am a Democrat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians Politics Relationships

About one-fifth of the people are against everything all the time.

Government Murphy’s Laws

Dan Quayle deserves to be Vice President like Elvis deserved his black belt in karate.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Government Insults President

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don’t want them to become politicians in the process.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Family Government Mothers Politicians President

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Congress Fools Government Insults Intelligence

The art of politics consists in knowing precisely when it is necessary to hit an opponent slightly below the belt.

(1876 – 1967) German statesman
Government Politics

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers; what I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Politicians

In the Bob Hope Classic, the participation of President Gerald Ford was more than enough to remind you that the nuclear button was at one stage at the disposal of a man who might have either pressed it by mistake or else pressed it deliberately in order to obtain room service.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Government People

The art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one class of citizen to give to the other.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Government Money

If you are short of everything except enemy, you are in combat.

Conflict Military Murphy’s Laws War

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, “I’m from the government and I’m here to help.”

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Language

Get the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Elections/Voting Fools Intelligence Politics

Brains, you know, are suspect in the Republican Party.

(1889 – 1974) American intellectual, writer, reporter & political commentator
Government Intelligence Politicians

The Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Death Government

Politicians are wedded to the truth, but like many other married couples they sometimes live apart.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Characteristics Government Honesty Marriage Politicians Truth

The House of Lords must be the only institution in the world which is kept efficient by the persistent absenteeism of most of its members.

(1870 – 1963) British politician & diplomat
Government

Politics is not a bad profession; if you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Politics

The army with the smartest dress uniform will lose.

Conflict Military Murphy’s Laws

Office hours are from 12 to 1 with an hour off for lunch.

typographer
Government