Subject: Government (Page 38)

The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.

Military

Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? … have the people we’ve been bombing over the years been complaining?

(1952 – ) American comedian & actor
Government Military

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Law People Speech

Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Government People

Delegation: In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language

Jury: a group of twelve men who, having lied to the judge about their hearing, health and business engagements, have failed to fool him.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Law

A conservative doesn't want anything to happen for the first time; a liberal feels it should happen, but not now.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Government

Politicians are like diapers; they both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

Government Politicians

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government

I could not stand the strain of having to be right all the time.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Government Politicians

I can make more generals, but horses cost money.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Animals Government Military Money

The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

Military Murphy’s Laws War

Fortify your front; you’ll get your rear shot up.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Even the police have an unlisted number.

(1908 – 1996) actor & comedian
Government Hollywood Law Things

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Government Politicians

There are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.”

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Life Politicians

Lawyer: A professional advocate hired to bend the law on behalf of a paying client; for this reason considered the most suitable background for entry into politics.

Definitions Lawyers

Democracy means government by the uneducated, while aristocracy means government by the badly educated.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Democracy Education Government

Dictatorship: A place where public opinion can’t even be expressed privately.

Definitions Government

Every girl dreams, when they grow up, they’re gonna marry a doctor, marry a lawyer; but me, I had to marry the only lawyer in America with a conscience.

(1963 – ) American comedian
Government Husbands Law Lawyers Marriage

Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.

Military Murphy’s Laws