Subject: Government (Page 44)

When the Republicans read the Constitution on the House floor, that's the first time ever that Republicans read something that wasn't written by a lobbyist.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Communication Government Speech

The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
America Government People Places Politicians

The Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Death Government Politicians

Jews can't serve on juries because they insist they're guilty.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Characteristics Law

It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Places Politics

Democracy is mob rule, but with income taxes.

Democracy Government Taxes

A liberal is one who has both feet planted firmly in the air.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Beliefs Government

The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel.

Communication Military

In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Government Law

The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative the day after the revolution.

(1906 – 1975) German-born American political theorist
Beliefs Government

A lawyer starts life giving $500 worth of law for $5 and ends giving $5 worth for $500.

(1816 – 1888) American attorney, politician & United States Attorney General
Government Lawyers

The scariest guy in prison is the white guy… because he's guilty.

American comedian
Conflict Crime Law People

I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Fat Government Politics

Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the Democrats believe every day is April 15.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Politicians

The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

Military Murphy’s Laws

The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Entertainment Government Situations

Jury: a group of twelve men who, having lied to the judge about their hearing, health and business engagements, have failed to fool him.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Law

People don’t start wars, governments do.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Conflict Government War

Lawyer: A professional advocate hired to bend the law on behalf of a paying client; for this reason considered the most suitable background for entry into politics.

Definitions Lawyers

The function of socialism is to raise suffering to a higher level.

(1923 – 2007) American novelist, journalist & playwright
Government

When it comes to finances, remember that there are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Government Money Taxes