Subject: Government (Page 45)

It isn't necessary to be an idiot to be a senior officer, but it sure helps.

Military

A sure sign of bureaucracy is when the first person who answers the phone can’t help you.

Government

I would think the squad car cop is to the cop on a bike as the sketch artist is to the etch-a-sketch artist.

(1969 – ) American stand-up comedian
Government Law

A communist is one who has nothing and wishes to share it with the world.

Government People

In the wake of the killing of Osama bin Laden President Obama’s approval rating jumped to 56 percent, his highest in two years… which shows there is literally nothing he can do to please the other 44 percent.

(1973 – ) American comedian, actor & television host
Politics TV/Movie Quotes

Yesterday, the President met with a group he calls the coalition-of-the-willing; or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Government

Only lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Government Law Lawyers

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Communication Government

A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake at the moment.

Beliefs Government

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don’t know anything and can’t read.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Government Intelligence People Reading/Writing

The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.

(1972 – ) English standup comedian, writer & actor
Animals Arms Government Things

Government is too big and too important to be left to the politicians.

(1901 – 1986) diplomat & economist
Government Politicians

Foot: A politician’s pacifier.

Definitions Politicians

Taxpayer: One who doesn’t have to pass a civil service exam to work for the government.

Definitions Government Taxes Work

Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.

American comedian & actor
Government Politics

Communism is like one big phone company.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Government

I have learned the difference between a cactus and a caucus; on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.

(1922 – 1998) U.S. Representative (Arizona) & politician
Communication Government Language Politics

I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his own money.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians

No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.

Congress Government Murphy’s Laws Politics

Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Government Time

I was never ruined but twice; once when I lost a lawsuit and once when I won one.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Government Law