Subject: Government (Page 46)

Vote for the man who promises least; he’ll be the least disappointing.

(1870 – 1965) businessman & politician
Elections/Voting Government Politics

If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Government People Women

A politician will do anything to keep his job—even become a patriot.

(1863 – 1951) American newspaper magnate & politician
Government Politicians

Military Expert: One who tells you what’s going to happen tomorrow – then tells you why it didn’t.

Definitions Government Military

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Law Things

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.

Characteristics Military Murphy’s Laws

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Law People Speech

Anything you can do can get you killed – including doing nothing.

Military Murphy’s Laws

The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative the day after the revolution.

(1906 – 1975) German-born American political theorist
Beliefs Government

I don't know what was wrong with my television last night, but I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station, and I actually bought a congressman.

(1951 – ) American comedian & writer
Congress Entertainment Government Politicians Television

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Intelligence Law Opinion

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Alcohol Congress Government

The bosom friend of senators and congressmen was about as daring as an early Shirley Temple movie.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Government Insults Politicians

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals Democracy Elections/Voting Government

Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Anyway, I'm so thankful, and so gracious – I'm gracious that my brother Jeb is concerned about the hemisphere as well.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Government Politics

Incoming fire has the right-of-way.

Military Murphy’s Laws

In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Government Law

Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservative.

(1806-1873) British philosopher
Beliefs Government Intelligence Opinion Stupidity

1. If the facts are against you, argue the law. 2. If the law is against you, argue the facts. 3. If the facts and the law are against you, yell like hell.

Government Intelligence Law Murphy’s Laws

Democracy means government by discussion, but it is only effective if you can stop people talking.

(1883 – 1967) British prime minister & politician
Democracy Government