Subject: Government (Page 5)

The Cavalry doesn’t always come to the rescue.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Government

Elector: One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man’s choice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Language

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it’s a sport.

(1932 – 2017) comedian, social activist, critic & writer
Activities Elections/Voting Government Places Sports

Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Folks who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
America Elections/Voting Government Places

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession… and I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Politics

A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants.

(1877 – 1956) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Politicians

A good many people feel that our present draft laws are unjust; these people are called soldiers

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Military

My retirement plan is a slippery floor at a department store.

American comedian
Law Money

Bill Clinton's foreign policy experience is pretty much confined to having had breakfast once at the International House of Pancakes.

(1938 – ) political commentator, author, columnist, politician & broadcaster
Insults Intelligence Politics

No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.

Military

An income tax form is like a laundry list – either way you lose your shirt.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Clothing Government Taxes

I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.

(1895 – 1972) American director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation
Government Sex

A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.

(1909 – 1995) American journalist
Failure Government Problems

Life: Coming into the world wit nothing, leaving with nothing and, in between, giving everything to the IRS.

Definitions Life Taxes

Automatic weapons – aren’t.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

The most undesirable things are the most certain (death and taxes).

Death Murphy’s Laws Problems Taxes

The only difference between Bush and Hitler is that Hitler was elected.

(1922 – 2007) American novelist
Elections/Voting Government

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Elections/Voting Government Politicians

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.

(1972 – ) Irish stand-up comedian, voice over artist & actor
Democracy Government People