Subject: Government (Page 3)

I must choose my words carefully in order to avoid any negative interpretation; among politicians, this is a tactic known as lying.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Characteristics Government Honesty Lies Politicians

They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance!

(1813 – 1864) American teacher & Union Army general in the Civil War
Death Government Military

When the enemy is closing, the artillery will always be long

Military Murphy’s Laws

You campaign in poetry, you govern in prose.

(1947 – ) U.S. Secretary of State, senator (New York) & first lady
Elections/Voting Government

Brains, you know, are suspect in the Republican Party.

(1889 – 1974) American intellectual, writer, reporter & political commentator
Government Intelligence Politicians

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Intelligence Law Opinion

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Elections/Voting Government Misspokements Speech

I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats; I tell them the truth and they never believe me.

(1810 – 1861) Italian political figure
Government Politicians

There is a statue of limitation.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Law Malaprops

Finishing second in the Olympics gets you silver; finishing second in politics gets you oblivion.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president
Government Politics Sports

The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least amount of hissing.

(1619 – 1683) French statesman
Government Taxes

A sure sign of bureaucracy is when the first person who answers the phone can’t help you.

Government

For those eight years Clinton was the president, it was like we had that really cool substitute teacher.

(1977 – ) American comedian
Education Government President

Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.

Communication Reading/Writing Taxes

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
America Government Intelligence Occupations Places Work

I would much prefer to be a judge than a coal miner because of the absence of falling coal.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Government Law

Democracy: A small hard core of common agreement, surrounded by a rich variety of individual difference.

Definitions Democracy Government

There are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.”

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Life Politicians

Sex and politics are a lot alike; you don’t have to be good at them to enjoy them.

(1909 – 1998) U.S. senator (Arizona)
Government Politics Sex

Politician: One who is willing to do anything on earth for the workers except become one.

Definitions Government Politicians

Presidents don’t do it to their wives; they do it to their country.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Activities Government President Sex Wives