Subject: Intelligence (Page 43)

Couldn’t find his rear with his hands in his back pockets

Expressions Fools Intelligence Stupidity

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

(1942 – ) American author and teacher
Intelligence Men People Women

A retail mind in a wholesale business.

(1863 – 1945) British politician & statesman
Insults Intelligence

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

(1935 – ) screenwriter, author, director & producer
Beliefs Intelligence

I had amnesia… once or twice.


Health Memory

He is suffering from halitosis of the intellect; that's presuming he has intellect.

(1874 – 1952) administrator & politician
Insults Intelligence

There is a distinct difference between having an open mind and having a hole in your head from which your brain leaks out.

(1928 – ) Canadian stage magician, skeptic & opponent of pseudoscience
Intelligence

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Characteristics Intelligence

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People Stupidity

My wife’s not too smart; I told her our kids were spoiled… she said, “all kids smell that way.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Children Family Intelligence Marriage Stupidity

Stupid men are often capable of things the clever would not dare to contemplate.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Fools Intelligence Stupidity

Ideas pull the trigger, but instinct loads the gun.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Arms Ideas Intelligence

A full tongue and an empty brain are seldom parted.

(1592 – 1644) English writer
Communication Fools Intelligence Speech

I've been doing some extremely abstract paintings… no paint, no canvas; I just think about it.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Art Entertainment Thinking

Think?… how the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Intelligence Sports Thinking Yogi-isms

He is so stupid… he thought Johnny Cash was a pay toilet.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Intelligence Situations

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Intelligence

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.

(1901 – 1983) American film & television actor
Insults Intelligence

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Age Children Ideas

If you can’t explain what you’re doing in simple English, you are probably doing something wrong.

Communication Intelligence Language Murphy’s Laws