Subject: Intelligence (Page 42)

Common sense is not so common.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Intelligence

Only one percent of the oil pollution in the sea is the result of oil drilling, while 63 percent is the result of natural seepage on the ocean floor.

(1969 – ) U.S. Representative (Delaware)
Intelligence Misspokements Stupidity

People ask stupid questions for a reason.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

The information conveyed is less important than the impression.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Congress Government Intelligence Wisdom

Every man has his follies – and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Intelligence

He seems to have entered a mental phase that can euphemistically be described as eccentric.

(1952 – ) British journalist & columnist
Intelligence

Connoisseur: A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Intelligence Language

I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,“Forget everything you know about slipcovers,” so I did, and it was a load off my mind; then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn’t know what the hell they were.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment Memory Television

Public office is the last refuge of the incompetent.

(1860 – 1921) U.S. senator (Pennsylvania)
Government Intelligence People

Couldn't scratch his ass if he had a tiger in both hands.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

He is suffering from halitosis of the intellect; that's presuming he has intellect.

(1874 – 1952) administrator & politician
Insults Intelligence

Once he makes up his mind, he's full of indecision.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Insults Intelligence

I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Memory

Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Entertainment Insults Memory People

An original idea can never emerge from committee in the original.

Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

I want to be alone with my thought.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence Thinking

I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Intelligence

Intelligence tests are biased toward the literate.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Intelligence Reading/Writing

Indecision may or may not be my problem.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & businessman
Characteristics Intelligence Problems

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Fools Marriage Men