Subject: Marriage » Divorce (Page 3)

Alimony: the ransom the happy pay to the devil.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Divorce Marriage

A TV host asked my wife, “Have you ever considered divorce?” She replied: ‘Divorce never, murder, often.’

(1923 – 2008) American actor & political activist
Divorce Marriage

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Divorce Marriage Money Time

If… you have never contemplated suicide… you’ve never truly been in love; if… you have never contemplated murder…you’ve never been divorced.

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Divorce Marriage

American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be so easily divorced.

(1864 – 1943) English writer
America Divorce Husbands Marriage

My wife made me a millionaire. Before she divorced me, I had three million.

professional hockey player
Divorce Hockey Marriage Misspokements Sports

A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
Divorce Marriage Time Wives

After five years of marriage, it is devastating to have the person with the good credit move out.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Divorce Marriage

I don't think I'll get married again; every five years or so, I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Divorce Marriage

Alimony: The screwing you get for the screwing you got.

Divorce Marriage

Group sex… are you kidding, I had group sex… my wife screwed me in front of the jury.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Divorce Marriage Sex Wives

The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Divorce Marriage

Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible; in a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Divorce Marriage

I lost 28 pounds in my divorce… because that’s what a soul weighs.

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Divorce Marriage

I'm 34 years old; I thought I'd be divorced by now.

American comedian
Age Divorce Marriage

Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

Definitions Divorce Marriage

Everyone talks about dead-beat dads; what about the kids who just aren’t worth the child support?

American comedian & writer
Children Divorce Family Marriage

Half of all marriage end in divorce – and then there are the unhappy ones.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Divorce Marriage

Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Divorce Emotions Love Marriage

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Divorce Marriage

Vanessa: You have no class, Thornton, and I am tired of it! I want a divorce.

Melon: Divorce. I knew we had something in common.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Divorce Marriage TV/Movie Quotes