Subject: Marriage » Husbands (Page 3)

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Husbands Marriage

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Activities Husbands Marriage Relationships Sleep Things Wives

My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Death Husbands Mothers

I’ve been married to one Marxist and one fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

(1927 – ) American actress
Husbands Marriage People

Why do men die before their wives? … Could it be because they want to?

(1967 – ) English comedian
Death Husbands Marriage Wives

Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do… but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.

Husbands Marriage Wives

How it Works: The Husband

Husbands Marriage

How many husbands have I had?… do you mean apart from my own?

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Husbands Marriage Sex

American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be so easily divorced.

(1864 – 1943) English writer
America Divorce Husbands Marriage

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Autos Husbands Marriage Wives

The only charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception necessary for both parties.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Husbands Marriage Wives

Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Honesty Husbands Lies

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Time Truth Wives

Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll go to sleep before you finish saying it.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Husbands Marriage Sleep

Women should put a picture of their missing husbands on beer cans.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Husbands Marriage

Colonel Mustard: How many husbands have you had?
Mrs. White: Mine or other women's?

(1942 – 1999) American actress
Husbands TV/Movie Quotes

Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender.

author
Husbands Marriage Problems

The tragedy of marriage is that while all women marry thinking that their man will change, all men marry believing their wife will never change.

(1929 – ) British military historian, cook book writer & novelist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Wives

I understand that many newlyweds are vacationing here (Niagara Falls)… I suppose seeing the falls was their second biggest disappointment.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Husbands Marriage Wives

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

Conflict Housework Husbands Marriage Proverbs

The husband who doesn't tell his wife everything probably reasons that what she doesn't know won't hurt him.


Communication Husbands Marriage Wives