Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 74)

It's raining harder than a cow pissing on a flat rock.

Miscellaneous

He's gotta whole head full of simple.

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You can’t just let nature run wild.

(1919 – 2010) U.S. Governor (Arkansas) & Secretary of the Interior
Miscellaneous

I think college administrators should encourage students to urinate on walls and bushes, because then when students from another college come sniffing around, they’ll know this is someone else’s territory.

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Marta was watching the football game with me when she said, “You know most of these sports are based on the idea of one group protecting its territory from invasion by another group.”
Yeah, I said, trying not to laugh. Girls are funny.

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Give a man a fish and it will feed him for a day, give the man a fishing rod and he will sell it for more fish, or burn it for firewood.

(1968 – ) English impressionist & comedian
Miscellaneous Proverbs

Gooder’n snuff and not half as dusty

Miscellaneous

One-third sap and two-thirds Eleanor.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
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I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well

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It’s easy to sit and scoff at an old man’s folly… but also, check out his Adam’s apple!

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We used to laugh at Grandpa when he’d head off and go fishing; but we wouldn’t be laughing that evening when he’d come back with some whore he picked up in town.

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The only hope of deciphering her invitations, someone said, was to pin them up on the wall and run past them!

(1907 – 1999) English publisher & editor
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I was as surprised as if a sheep had bit me.

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Cooler than a flip side of a down pillow.

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Knee high to a grasshopper

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I bet Neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy brows." Then they would get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman.

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like trying to herd cats

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Boy howdy!

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I feel like I've been chewed up and spit out.

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Willy-Nilly: Impotent.

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She’s so stubborn she’d argue with a stop sign.

Miscellaneous