Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 74)

I've Never Gone to Bed with an Ugly Woman

One bad thing about Lassie, she was always warning you about something; let me be surprised for a change.

Old as dirt

Built like a brick shithouse

Pretty is as pretty does.

They say no one knows if we all see red the same way… except traffic cops.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host

I'm so hungry I could eat my elbows.

Don't worry 'bout the mule son, just load the wagon.

Will ya take on wood?

Good Heavenly Days!

Gridlock Christmas

We’ve had to get a live-in nanny, ‘cos that dead one wasn’t working out.

(1968 – ) English comedian & actor

Girlfriend Calling You Fat? You Probably Are. Ride Bike

I wish to my never.

You can’t measure a snake till ti’t stretched out dead.

All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.

English football player

With every new sunrise, there is a new chance; but with every sunset, you blew it.

I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.

I don’t pretend to have all the answers; I don’t pretend to even know what the questions are… hey, where am I?

Nervous as a cow with a bucktooth calf.

You can’t blame a worm for not wanting to go fishing.