Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Misspokements
(Page 11)
We all know what it’s like to have a
half-warmed
fish within us.
William Archibald Spooner
(1844 – 1930) English dean at Oxford whose name is given to the accidental transposition of sounds of two or more words
Misspokements
A half-formed wish
Spoonerism
Homo Sapiens… is he an Arab?
Jean Stapleton
(1923 – 2013) American actress
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
As Edith Bunker in “All In the Family”
If we're going to win the pennant, we've got to start thinking we're not as good as we think we are.
Casey Stengel
(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
That’s why I don’t talk. Because I talk too much.
Joaquin Andujar
professional baseball player
Misspokements
He’s missing the absence of Dennis [Bergkamp].
Brian Marwood
English professional football player & commentator
Colemanballs
Misspokements
The late start is due to the time.
David Coleman
(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs
Misspokements
Time
Lateness
It's wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn't used to like.
Casey Stengel
(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Friends
Misspokements
People
The series is already won, but I don’t know by which team.
Dizzy Dean
professional baseball player
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
A man could not be in two places at the same time unless he were a bird.
Boyle Roche
(1736 – 1807) Irish politician
Misspokements
People
You have to wonder what kind of chemical reactions were taking place inside Walker’s head when he said these things.
Murray Walker
(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing
Misspokements
Speech
Sports
They stayed away in droves.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Communication
Misspokements
Speech
Audiences
The Bible’s full of wine… God ain’t got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son’s birthday with.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
Gracie : Breakfast will be ready in six minutes.
George Edwards: Six minutes?
Gracie: Yeah, I just put on two three minute eggs.
Gracie Allen
(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
As Gracie Devore in “Six of a Kind”
The black cloud is coming from the direction the wind is blowing. Now the wind is coming from where the black cloud is!
Raymond Illingworth
English cricketer & commentator
Misspokements
Sports
Cricket
You have to have a catcher because if you don’t you’re likely to have a lot of passed balls.
Casey Stengel
(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
Catchers
Passed balls
I got a lotta best friends.; some o’ them I don’t even hardly know.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.
Steve Ryder
Golf
Misspokements
Sports
Covering the U.S. Masters
Tito Fuentes is safe at second with a triple.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
When they said Canada, I thought it was up in the mountains somewhere.
Marilyn Monroe
(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol
Canada
Misspokements
Places
I have nothing to say, and I’ll only say it once.
Floyd Smith
Hockey coach
Hockey
Misspokements
Sports
When our boys come home from France, we will have the
hags flung
out.
William Archibald Spooner
(1844 – 1930) English dean at Oxford whose name is given to the accidental transposition of sounds of two or more words
Misspokements
Flags hung out
Spoonerism
Page 11 of 53
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