Subject: Misspokements (Page 16)

[on phone] No, the doctor isn’t in just now. Oh, he won’t be back for a long, long time. He went out on one of those eternity cases.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Allegations are all very well but I would like to know who these alligators are.

Colemanballs Misspokements

The advantage of the rain is, that if you have a quick bike, there’s no advantage.

British motorcycle road racer
Misspokements Sports

It’s too caustic, said a director, when asked his opinion of a script.

Goldwyn: To hell with the cost, if it’s a good picture, we’ll make it.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Malaprops Misspokements

Twelve for 23… it doesn't take a genius to see that's under 50 percent.

American sportscaster
Misspokements

Bizet was a very young man when he composed this symphony, so play it softly.

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist
Entertainment Misspokements Music

It’s lap 26 of 58, which unless I’m very much mistaken is half way.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

To all you hunters who kill animals for food, shame on you; you ought to go to the store and buy the meat that was made there, where no animals were harmed.

Classifieds Misspokements Stupidity

Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Misspokements

Space is almost infinite; as a matter of fact, we think it is infinite.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements Places Science/Weather

It took me 20 years to memorize the deformaties of the room.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

You never ask why you’ve been fired because if you do, they’re liable to tell you.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Misspokements

In the words of the old song, it’s a long time from May to December but, you know, it’s an equally long time from December to May.

professional football player, coach & executive
Misspokements Time

And he’s done that in a whisker under 10 seconds, call it 9.7 in round figures.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

He’s got the balls and when he’s holding them he controls the tempo.

American professional tennis player
Misspokements Sports

And the first five places are filled by five different cars.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

It’s waddya call… wash your hands.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements

I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished yourselves this session.

Texas politician
Misspokements

Venezuela! Great, that's the Italian city with the guys in the boats, right?

American boxing promoter
Boxing Misspokements Places Sports

If we're going to win the pennant, we've got to start thinking we're not as good as we think we are.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

It’s time for the human race to enter the solar system.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements People