Subject: Money (Page 18)

It's a damn good story; if you have any comments, write them on the back of a check.

(1889 – 1970) American lawyer & author
Communication Money

No one is rich enough to do without a neighbor.

People Proverbs Wealth

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Money Occupations People Work

1. You can't get anything without working for it.
2. The most you can accomplish by working is to break even.
3. You can only break even at absolute zero.

Money Murphy’s Laws Work

The only advantage to living in the past is that the rents are much cheaper!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Money Past Time

There are no "free lunches," but sometimes it costs more to collect money than to give away food.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Ten men in the country could buy the world and ten million can’t buy enough to eat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Money People Places Poverty

BREAKING: Mitt Romney will embark on a three-nation foreign trip to visit his money.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Money Wealth

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

People are still willing to do an honest day's work; the trouble is they want a week's pay for it.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Money Time Work

If [an actor] says, 'But what's my motivation?… 'I say, 'Your salary.'

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Acting Entertainment Money

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

(1907 – 1987) journalist & columnist
Money

Last week I told my psychiatrist, “I keep thinking about suicide,” and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Health Money

Expenditure rises to meet income.

Money Murphy’s Laws

If the law-makers make a compromise, the place where it will be felt most is the taxpayer’s pocket.

Money Murphy’s Laws Politicians

The more zeros found in the price tag for a government program, the less Congressional scrutiny it will receive.

Congress Government Money Murphy’s Laws

When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay, but here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Government Health Money

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Money

There is no stronger craving in the world than that of the rich for titles, except that of the titled for riches.

(1887 – 1964) British actor, writer & theater director
Money Wealth

Computing power increases as the square of the cost; if you want to do it twice as cheaply, you have to do it four times slower.

Computers Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Situations Things

Money frees you from doing things you dislike; since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Money