Subject: Money (Page 21)

The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Money

Some couples go over their budgets very carefully every month; others just go over them.


Money

A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be.

Family Money Relationships

Mendoza: I am a brigand: I live by robbing the rich.

Tanner: I am a gentleman: I live by robbing the poor.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Money People

People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year; they don’t realize that most of us only make $500,000.00.

professional baseball player
Baseball Money Sports

He took me to McDonald’s, backed his car through the drive-through window, so the cashier could be on my side.

comedian & radio personality
Frugal Money Situations

And they give you cash, which is just as good as money.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Money Yogi-isms

Money is what you’d get on beautifully without if only other people weren’t so crazy about it.

Money

Having your lawyer pay for lunch will be very expensive in the end.

Lawyers Money

Prison inmates are treated to cable TV, hot meals and a college education, while on the outside some people can only afford these things through a life of crime!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime Money

People try to live within their income so they can afford to pay taxes to a government that can't live within its income.

businessman
Government Money Taxes

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Communication Money Reading/Writing

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Children Family Money People

I remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going to retire.' They said, 'Well, we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'You got a pen on you?'

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Money Sports

Bing (Crosby) doesn't pay income tax; he just calls the government and says, 'How much do you boys need?'

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Taxes Wealth

Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Marriage Money Work

Bank failures are caused by depositors who don’t deposit enough money to cover losses due to mismanagement.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements Money

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

Life Money

When a fellow says it ain't the money but the principle of the thing… it's the money.

Charles Farrar Browne (1834 – 1867) humorist
Money

The most popular labor saving device is still money.

(1949 – ) American beauty queen, businesswoman, actress & sportscaster
Money

College is great; it’s the only time in life where you can write a check for 39 cents… and bounce it.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Education Money Poverty