Subject: Money (Page 21)

Always Broke? Stop Living Payday To Payday

Headlines Money

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Money

Today, too many workers spend their time trying to make their weekends meet.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Money Time

The girl who marries for money may find herself in debt for life.

writer
Marriage Money

So far, I haven’t heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Death Life Money

Wealth is any income that is at least one hundred dollars a year more than the income of one’s wife’s sister’s husband.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Money Wealth Wives

All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Money

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting.

(1899 – 1966) producer, showman & lyricist
Money

An injured friend of his was going to receive back pay radioactively.

Malaprops Money Time

Yeah, this comedy is all a part of my “Get Rich Slow” scheme… and it’s working.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment Money Wealth

I'm working as hard as I can to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time. If I can just die after lunch Tuesday, everything would be perfect.

(1933 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Money Sports

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

Communication Language Money

There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

(1900 – 1967) American film actor
Clothing Money Poverty

A little incompatibility is the spice of life, as long as he has income and she is pattable.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Appearance Body Money Situations Women

It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins.

Children Money Proverbs Sex

The more zeros found in the price tag for a government program, the less Congressional scrutiny it will receive.

Congress Government Money Murphy’s Laws

I’m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

(1894 – 1962) American poet, painter, essayist, author & playwright
Life Money

… the only California houses on the market for less than a million dollars are those on fire… these generally go for six hundred thousand.

Money Places

About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is… the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Money People

College is great; it’s the only time in life where you can write a check for 39 cents… and bounce it.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Education Money Poverty

And they give you cash, which is just as good as money.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Money Yogi-isms