Subject: Money (Page 25)

It’s better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Money

I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.

(1963 – ) Canadian writer, actor & stand-up comedian
Intelligence Money Poverty Stupidity

The more heavily a man is supposed to be taxed, the more power he has to escape being taxed.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

I cannot afford to waste my time making money.

(1807 – 1873) paleontologist, glaciologist & geologist
Money Time

In this country you’re guilty until proven wealthy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
America Government Law Money Wealth

No Taxes… let's just tip the government 15% if they do a good job.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Money Taxes

The main purpose of the stock market is to make fools of as many men as possible.

(1870 – 1965) businessman & politician
Money

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting.

(1899 – 1966) producer, showman & lyricist
Money

Yeah, this comedy is all a part of my “Get Rich Slow” scheme… and it’s working.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment Money Wealth

I came from a dirt farm, now I'm filthy rich.

American boxing champion
Boxing Money Sports

Sex is like money; only too much is enough.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Money Sex

The only advantage to living in the past is that the rents are much cheaper!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Money Past Time

We were so poor; the ultimate luxury in our house at the time was ashtrays without advertisements.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Money Poverty

When a feller says, ‘It hain’t the money, but the principle o’ th’ thing’, it’s the money.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Money

Money enables a man to get along without an education, and education enables him to get along without money.

writer
Education Money

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own Scotch, you bring your own rocks.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Frugal Individuals Money People

I can make more generals, but horses cost money.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Animals Government Military Money

Wealth is any income that is at least one hundred dollars a year more than the income of one’s wife’s sister’s husband.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Money Wealth Wives

When you don’t have any money, the problem is food; when you have money, it’s sex; when you have both, it’s health.

(1926 – ) Irish American novelist & playwright
Health Money Sex

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was so poor I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Food/Drink Money Poverty Young

I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout; that's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.

(1956 – 2016) American stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Drugs Exercise Money