Subject: Money (Page 27)

An injured friend of his was going to receive back pay radioactively.

Malaprops Money Time

When a person with experience meets a person with money, the person with experience will get the money and the person with the money will get some experience.

Money Murphy’s Laws

He is so poor… he can't even pay attention.

Exaggerations Money Poverty

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it’s terribly inconvenient.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Characteristics Money

The best investment opportunities are encountered when you are broke.

Money Murphy’s Laws

The dollar will never fall as low as what some people will do to get it.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Money

Because you are feeding both the child and the floor, raising this child will be expensive.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Family Food/Drink Money

Money can’t buy happiness, but neither can poverty.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Money Poverty Wealth

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Children Eating Food/Drink Money

Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it.

Emotions Happiness Money

I came from a dirt farm, now I'm filthy rich.

American boxing champion
Boxing Money Sports

No matter what stage of completion one reaches in a North Sea (oil) field, the cost of the remainder of the project remains the same.

Money Murphy’s Laws

You can never be too skinny or too rich.

(1915 – 1978) socialite
Appearance Body Wealth

Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

(1861 – 1950) American writer
Money Time

He was so cheap, for example, that when Mary asked for diamonds for her birthday he bought her two of them… the eight and the queen.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Activities Frugal Money

Upper Crust: People stuck together by their dough.

Definitions Money People

You're never too poor for good toilet paper.

comedian
Money Poverty Things

Wealth is any income that is at least one hundred dollars a year more than the income of one’s wife’s sister’s husband.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Money Wealth Wives

The compromise will always be more expensive than either of the suggestions it's compromising.

Money Murphy’s Laws

I forgot how expensive this town is; checking into the hotel this morning, I literally had to give the bellhop $10 just for taking my tip.

American comedian & writer
Money

Debt: A trap which a man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.

Definitions Money