Subject: Money (Page 7)

One time I went to a drive-in in a taxi cab… the movie cost me $95.00.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment Film Money

If I had that kind of money, I wouldn't come to Vietnam, I'd send for it.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Money Places Wealth

This year there are 50 women on the Forbes richest list, or as John Kerry calls that, his little black book.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Money Wealth Women

(Jack) Benny’s so cheap he wouldn’t give you the parsley off his fish.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Frugal Money

They were living high on the cob.

Life Malaprops Money

I cannot afford to waste my time making money.

(1807 – 1873) paleontologist, glaciologist & geologist
Money Time

A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Money Things

When a fellow says it ain't the money but the principle of the thing… it's the money.

Charles Farrar Browne (1834 – 1867) humorist
Money

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Government Politicians Poverty

It isn’t enough for you to love money… it’s also necessary that money should love you.

(1840 – 1915) British banker & politician
Money

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Accidents Money Poverty

If thee marries for money, thee surely will earn it.

Wisconsin politician, professor & writer
Marriage Money

My sister just got married; I was the maid of debt in that little event.

(1965 – ) American comedian
Marriage Money Relationships

I’m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

(1894 – 1962) American poet, painter, essayist, author & playwright
Life Money

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Money

My retirement plan is a slippery floor at a department store.

American comedian
Law Money

She makes pancakes so thin they’ve got just one side to them.

Expressions Food/Drink Frugal Money

The compromise will always be more expensive than either of the suggestions it's compromising.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Markets can remain irrational a lot longer than you and I can remain solvent.

American financial analyst & commentator
Money

God shows his contempt for wealth by the kind of person he selects to receive it.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist
Money People Wealth

When you get something for nothing, you just haven't been billed for it yet.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Money