Subject: People (Page 13)

War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Conflict People War

Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he’s in trouble.

Lutheran minister
People

Upper Crust: People stuck together by their dough.

Definitions Money People

I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS… my favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Age Old People

This is why it takes several million sperm cells… to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Men People

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Eating Food/Drink People

Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah didn't miss the boat.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
People

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.

(1931 – 2005) American actor
Age Men Old People

You might be a redneck if… your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos People Rednecks

An artist cannot talk about his art any more than a plant can discuss horticulture.

(1889 – 1963) French poet, novelist, playwright, artist & filmmaker
Art Entertainment People

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Murphy’s Laws People

I get a lot of cracks about my hair, mostly from men who don't have any.

(1933 – 2006) politician
Appearance Hair Men

Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.

Men People

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

(1769 – 1821) French general & politician
Mistakes People

You may be a redneck if you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos Education Money People

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
People

Hell may have a worse climate but undoubtedly the company is spritelier.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
People Places Situations

Vickie Lynn Hogan is my birth certificate’s name.

(1967 – 2007) American model
People Self

A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.

(1875 – 1955) German writer
People

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Activities Past People Time

Some people feel the rain – others just get wet.

(1936 – 1992) singer, songwriter, musician & actor
People Situations