Subject: People (Page 45)

The last time a straight man worked in the fashion industry, we got a fanny pack.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian, television host, actress, & author
Appearance Clothing People

You might be a redneck if… you have a close relative named "Cletus.”

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

A gentleman never strikes a lady with his hat on.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Clothing Men People Women

No woman can be too rich or too thin.

Duchess of Windsor (1896 – 1986) American socialite & wife of the Prince Edward, formerly King Edward VIII
Appearance People Wealth Women

I hate myself, but being Jewish has nothing to do with it.

(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer
Beliefs Religion Self

A cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter.

(1908 – 1996) actor & comedian
Food/Drink People

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Men People Women

Youth: That brief period, as distinguished from childhood or middle age, when the sexes talk to each other at a party.

Age Definitions People Young

I am a man of my word… and that word is “unreliable.”

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language Self

Burt Reynolds once asked me out… I was in his room.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
People Relationships

When I was about 8 or 9, I was a massive Michael Jackson fan and I wish I had known at the time that I was his type.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
People

It’s great that we’ve got a compassionate conservative, but to me, that sounds like a Volvo with a gun rack.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Beliefs Government People

A fanatic is one who sticks to his guns whether they’re loaded or not.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
People

Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Age People Understanding

I'm not a competitive person… I'll be the first to admit it.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
People Self

We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it.


cartoon character in The Simpsons (Julie Kavner)
People Places

Men are like lawnmowers: they’re hard to get started, emit noxious odors and half the time they don’t work.

Men People

Humankind cannot stand very much reality.

(1888 – 1965) British (US-born) critic, dramatist & poet
Intelligence People

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Appearance People

You might be a redneck if… your brother-in-law is your uncle AND your grandfather.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Relationships

I spent twelve years training for a career that was over in a week; Joe Namath spent one week training for a career that lasted twelve years.

(1949 – ) American Olympic athlete
Activities People Situations Sports