Subject: People (Page 63)

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.

(1913 – 1960) French-Algerian author, philosopher & journalist
People

You might be a redneck if… your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Characteristics Friends Old People Women

I really like a lot of the stuff they did; it's just, sometimes, their fans get on my nerves.

comedian
People

The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
People Places Travel

We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it.


cartoon character in The Simpsons (Julie Kavner)
People Places

Vegetarian: A good salad citizen.

Food/Drink People

Americans: People with more time-saving devices and less time than any other people in the world.

Definitions People

Employees who think they know everything are very irritating to those of us who do.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
People

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Eating Food/Drink People

A woman in love can't be reasonable – or she probably wouldn't be in love.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Love Women

I don't have any tattoos or piercings yet, but I do have a cold sore I've been ignoring.

(1959 – ) American comedian, actress & singer
Characteristics People Self

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country, but if you ask a native American, that number is more like 300 million.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
America People Places

All my life I’ve wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought.

American writer
Intelligence Self

I saw what’s going on under my chin; I don’t want to be the one the president has to pardon on Thanksgiving.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance People Self

Walter Mondale has all the charisma of:a speed bump.

(1952 – ) American political satirist
Insults People

You might be a redneck if… you think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things Wives

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.

(1920 – ) Hungarian writer
Emotions Laughter People Self

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Murphy’s Laws People

The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Men People

You might be a redneck if… you’re banned from the Memphis Zoo because you disturb the monkeys.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals People Places Rednecks