Subject: People (Page 72)

I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death People Places

Anyone who is popular is bound to be disliked.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
People Yogi-isms

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
People Politics

If you are flattering a woman, it pays to be a little more subtle; you don’t have to bother with men, they believe any compliment automatically.

(1939 – ) English playwright
Characteristics Men People Women

The higher a monkey climbs, the more you can see of its ass.

(Vinegar Joe) (1883 – 1946) American army general
Characteristics People

It’s so much easier to pray for a bore than to go and see one.

(1898 – 1963) Irish-born British novelist, literary critic & essayist
People

The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes; then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Appearance Body Men People Women

The Bible says gays aren’t natural; what? … and a talking snake is?!

(1980 – ) English comedian, television and radio presenter & actor
Beliefs People

Women have a passion for mathematics; they divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.

(1899 – 1974) French screenwriter, teacher & journalist
People Women

Feminism is the worst thing that happened to woman… our job used to be no job. – Feminism

(1982 – ) American actress, stand-up comedian & writer
People Women

Bachelor: A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.

Definitions Men People Relationships

Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Death Life Men People Time

Make sure to be in with your equals if you’re going to fall out with your superiors.

People

Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Characteristics Men People Sports

Eventually soul mates meet, for they have the same hiding place.

American writer
People Relationships

There’s a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there’s a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Family Mothers People Women

The biggest difference between the psychiatrist and the patient is that the psychiatrist has learned how to live with it.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Doctors Health Life People

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Emotions Entertainment Laughter People

Any jackass can kick down a barn but it takes a good carpenter to build one.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
People

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

Marriage Men Murphy’s Laws People Wives

One man's folly is another man's wife.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Men People Wives