Subject: People (Page 89)

I don’t understand this whole Elvis thing; there are dead people in my family that we miss and love dearly, but shoot, we don’t dress up like them and three are blank.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
People

My movies were the kind they show in prisons and on airplanes, because no one can leave.

(1936 – 2018) American actor
Entertainment Film People Self

Alone in a crowd

People

I couldn’t tell if the streaker was a man or a woman because it had a bag on its head.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
People Yogi-isms

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs Drugs God People

My neighbor has a circular driveway… he can’t get out.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Friends Things

I wonder sometimes if manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

(1938 – 2007) British writer
Fools Intelligence People Things

Only when one has lost all curiosity about the future has one reached the age to write an autobiography.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Books Communication People Self

All dogs look up to you; all cats look down to you… only the pig looks at you as an equal.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Animals Cats Dogs People

It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Beliefs People Religion

One of the surprising things in this world is the respect a worthless man has for himself.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Characteristics People

A committee takes hours to put into minutes what can be done in seconds.

People Time

One thing I can say about George… he may not be able to keep a job, but he’s not boring.

(1925 – 2018) U.S. first lady, wife of George H. W. Bush
People

You might be a redneck if… the FBI surrounded your trailer park twice so far this year.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

I want to donate a large amount of money to a rape clinic and I won't take no for an answer.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
People

He had the kind of handshake that ought never to be used except as a tourniquet.

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Characteristics People

From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class; from ten feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.

(1888 – 1959) detective novelist & screenwriter
Appearance People Women

What you take for lying in an Irishman is only his attempt to put an herbaceous border on stark reality.

(1878 – 1957) Irish poet, author, athlete & politician
Beliefs Honesty Lies People Places

Bachelor: A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.

Definitions Men People

Three stages of sex in a man’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Definitions Men Sex

Easy: Used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

Definitions People Sex Women