Subject: People (Page 94)

Oaf: An old fashioned jerk.

Definitions People

Whenever I walk, people try to hand me out fliers, and when someone tries to hand me out a flier, it's kinda like they're saying, 'Here, you throw this away.'

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
People

Like its politicians and its war, society has the teenagers it deserves.

(1894 – 1984) English novelist, playwright & broadcaster
People

If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn't be enough to go around.

(1902 – 1983) Australian novelist & short-story writer
Money People Wealth

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Cooking Food/Drink People Women

Comparing Madonna with Marilyn Monroe is like comparing Raquel Welch with the back of a bus.

George Alan O'Dowd (1961 – ) British singer-songwriter
Appearance Body People

Fettucini Alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink People

She is such a good friend that she would throw all her acquaintances into the water for the pleasure of fishing them out again.

(1754 – 1838) French prime minister & diplomat
Friends Old People

Any man who hates dogs and babies can’t be all bad.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Animals Dogs Men People

The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
America Government People Places Politicians

An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.

(1875 – 1932) English writer
People

Bore: A guy with a cocktail glass in one hand and your lapel in the other

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
People

No nice men are good at getting taxis.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Men People

Jerry Ford is so dumb that he can't fart and chew gum at the same time.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Insults Opinion People

There’s only one thing I can’t do that white people can do, and that’s play pranks at international airports.

British-Asian comedian
People Self Situations

My body is a temple; unfortunately, my diet is ISIS.

American comedian
Appearance Body Self

I have decided to keep a full journal, in the hope that my life will perhaps seem more interesting when it is written down.

(1946 – 2014) English writer & humorist
Books Communication People Self

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Men People Women

Don’t marry a man to reform him; that’s what reform schools are for.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Marriage Men School

When you're born, you have a finger up your nose, the other hand on your dick, and you get taller; and that is really it.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Life Men People

Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Intelligence People