Subject: Places » England (Page 3)

In Scotland we have mixed feelings about Global Warming…. because we all get to sit on the mountains and watch the English drown.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
England Places

I knew these Siamese twins; they moved to England, so the other one could drive.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Driving England Places

We’re not used to weather in June in this country.

professional football player, coach & executive
England Misspokements Places Science/Weather

Trains in Britain can be late for all sorts of reasons: speed restrictions, livestock on the track, or a totally substandard rail infrastructure that’s publicly funded, privately run and answerable to no one… all sorts of reasons.

(1979 – ) English comedian & actor
England Places

I’m English, but I want to let you know that even though I’m English, I’m not here to solve a murder mystery.

comedian
England People Places

The Englishman who has lost his fortune is said to have died of a broken heart.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Emotions England Money People Places Wealth

England is better only because I stand out there as ‘unusual.’

(1956 – ) American comedian
England People Places Self

An Englishman considers himself a self-made man, and thereby relieves the Almighty of a dreadful responsibility.

England People Places

Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands… but English women only hope to find in their butlers.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
America Characteristics England Husbands Women

The plain truth is, that he was a most intolerable ruffian, a disgrace to human nature, and a blot of blood and grease upon the history of England.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
England Insults People Places

They're mad because they lost the Revolutionary War, and they should be, because there was only like nine of us.

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
England Places

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Education England Places School

There are three golden rules for parliamentary speakers: “Stand up. Speak up. Shut up.”

(1855 – 1949) British politician
Communication England Places Speech

Boy George is all England needs – another queen who can't dress.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Clothing England Insults Places

You cannot trust people who have such bad cuisine; it is the country with the worst food after Finland.

(1932 – ) French statesman & president
England Food/Drink Places

The train system is so chronic now, that any journey you undertake by train in Britain is identical to the one taken by Omar Sharif in Doctor Zhivago.

(1958 – 2006) English radio performer, stand-up comic & writer
England Places

The French, they say, live to eat; the English, on the other hand, eat to die.

(1949 – ) English novelist
Eating England People Places

The president of France said that the English are arrogant with their refusal to learn foreign languages; at least, I think that’s what he said… it all just sounded like “haw-he-haw-he-haw-he-haw.”

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication England Language Places

The old English belief that if a thing is unpleasant it is automatically good for you.

(1908 – 1986) English cartoonist, author, art critic & stage designer
England Places

An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.

(1912 – 1987) Hungarian-born British author
Characteristics England People Places

Keegan Fills Schmeichel’s Gap With Seaman

England Headlines