Subject: Places (Page 11)

According to modern astronomers, space is finite; this is a very comforting thought – particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Places Science/Weather

I know I've got a lock on the Dutch Hall of Fame.

Dutch-born American baseball pitcher
Baseball Places Sports

China has a population of a billion people; that means even if you’re a one-in-a-million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Characteristics People Places

A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs.

Places Proverbs

It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Places Speech

The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe's nightstand.

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Places World

If Iowa is the 'heart' land, what part of the human body is Los Angeles?

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Places

Any tool when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop.

Murphy’s Laws Places Things

I've got to tell you, that's a gorgeous four-and-a-half hour drive in from the airport.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Places

You’re probably aware that Britain stopped evolving gastronomically around the year 1242.

(1977 – ) British political comedian & television host
Food/Drink Places

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Children People Places

Columbus went around the world in 1492; that isn’t a lot of strokes when you consider the course.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports World

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Money Places World

The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Marriage Problems Sex World

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
America Democracy Elections/Voting Government Places War World

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Places

Graceland is so tacky, Puerto Rican people walk out of there going, 'That's some tacky stuff there, man.'

American comedian & author
Characteristics Places

The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way.

Irish music columnist & journalist
America England Places

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.

1867 – 1931) English novelist
America Autos People Places

Hollywood is where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors.

(1897 – 1972) broadcast journalist & gossip columnist
Entertainment Film Hollywood Places

Christine Todd Whitman had to resign as the head of the EPA; you know, when the governor of New Jersey decides the environment is hopeless, you gotta really think that one through.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Places Situations