Subject: Places (Page 11)

If your car breaks down in Tennessee, you have just moved to Tennessee.

(1965 – ) American actor, writer & comedian
Places

Vacation: Two weeks on the sunny sands – and the rest of the year on the financial rocks.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Activities Money Places Time

The House of Lords is like a glass of champagne that has stood for five days.

(1883 – 1967) British prime minister & politician
England Government Places

The town had the coldest temperature in all the contagious states.

America Malaprops Places

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above… so I never have to go upstairs.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places

Last night, it was so cold, the flashers in New York were only describing themselves.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Cold New York City Places Science/Weather Situations

A spa hotel? It’s like a normal hotel, only in reception there’s a picture of a pebble.

(1968 – ) Welsh comedian
Places

I’m in favor of liberalized immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants; I’d let just about everybody in except the English.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
England Food/Drink Places

That's still how Irish people are seen, as twinkly-eyed f**kers with a pig under their arm, high-stepping it around the world, going 'I'll paint your house now, but watch out, I might steal the ladder later, ohohoho!' – which is only half true!

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs Places

Christine Todd Whitman had to resign as the head of the EPA; you know, when the governor of New Jersey decides the environment is hopeless, you gotta really think that one through.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Places Situations

The best research [for playing a drunk] is being a British actor for 20 years.

(1933 – ) English actor
Acting Alcohol Food/Drink Places

I like Florida… everything is in the 80's… the temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Places

I love New York – it's the only place where if you look at anyone long enough, they'll eventually spit.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
New York City People Places

In Australia, not reading poetry is the national pastime.

(1905 – 1978) American author of children’s books & poetry
Communication People Places Reading/Writing

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination.

(1912 – 2006) Romanian-born Canadian writer
Canada Insults

There's always something fishy about the French.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults People Places

Irish people are Italians who can’t dress, Jamaicans who can’t dance.

(1960 – ) Irish singer-songwriter, musician, philanthropist & publicity seeker
People Places

Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics People World

The boomarang is Australia’s chief export (and then import.)

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Games Places

Apparently 1 in 3 Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed, which is mad because those places are really well lit

English comedian, writer & actor
England Places

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
America Congress Government Places Problems