Subject: Places (Page 20)

In Milan, traffic lights are instructions; in Rome, they are suggestions; in Naples, they are Christmas decorations.

(1942 – ) Italian politician
Places

The sun—you live about three quarters of a mile from it.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Places

If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
America People Situations

I do all my writing in bed; everybody knows I do my best work there.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Places Reading/Writing

The more underdeveloped the country, the more overdeveloped the women.

Appearance Body Murphy’s Laws Places Women World

Do you know how short you have to be to have a Napoleon complex in North Korea?

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Places

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everyone and still nobody likes him.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
America Places

I’ve been here eight months and have been in two earthquakes, a race riot, floods and fires, and I left New York because I couldn’t handle my mother.

comedian & television writer
Family Mothers Places

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
America Congress Government Places Problems

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Intelligence Places Science/Weather Stupidity

District of Columbia: A territory bounded on all sides by the United States of America.

Definitions Places

Wherever you go in the world, you just have to say you’re Canadian and people laugh.

(1950 – 1994) Canadian actor & comedian
Canada Emotions Laughter Places

There are no good roles for Indians in Hollywood, unless you’re shooting at Jack Bauer or looking for White Castle.

American actor
Entertainment Hollywood People Places

We called her Mother Earth… because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Places

Americans, indeed, often seem to be so overwhelmed by their children that they’ll do anything for them except stay married to the co-producer.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
America Children Family Marriage Parents

I've been mostly camping and living in hostiles.

Malaprops Places

If Moses would have walked two more miles, we'd have all the oil.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Places

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country, but if you ask a native American, that number is more like 300 million.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
America People Places

Brooklyn praise is half slander.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Places

There's always something fishy about the French.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults People Places

One of those Canadian proverbs.

professional baseball player
Misspokements Places