Subject: Places (Page 37)

The English find ill-health not only interesting but respectable and often experience death in the effort to avoid a fuss.

(1908 – 1967) English novelist
England Health People Places

The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number seventy-nine.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Intelligence New York City Places

The English think soap is civilization.

(1834 – 1896) German historian & political writer
England Insults Places

In America, it's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save.

America Murphy’s Laws Shopping

I don’t know why I should have to learn Algebra… I’m never likely to go there.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Places Science/Weather

Two hundred million Americans, and there ain’t two good catchers among ‘em.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
America Baseball People Sports

In America, you assassinate presidents; in Soviet Russia, presidents assassinate you!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
Places

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.

(1964 – ) comedian, political satirist, writer & television host
Government Places

In a British hotel, the words “Can I help you sir?” mean roughly: “What the hell do you want?”

(1922 – 1995) English novelist & poet
Places

America is a large friendly dog in a small room; every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.

(1889 – 1975) English historian
America Places

I'm from one of those places where the whole number system consists of one, two and a shitload.

(1955 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & impressionist
Education Places

There are only two occasions when Americans respect privacy, especially in presidents; those are prayer and fishing.

(1929 – 1933) 31st U.S. president, humanitarian
America Characteristics Situations

No matter where you are, there you are.

Murphy’s Laws Places

I like American women; they do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing… like showering.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
Activities Places Sex

We went to Alaska once and they made us honorary Alaskans. Then we went to Hawaii and they made us honorary Hawaiians. We're going to the Virgin Islands this year.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Places Sports

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real, but the moon landing was faked.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
America Places

Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?

(1916 – 1997) newspaper journalist
People Places

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Health Money Places

If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
America Places Sports

Britons put up with, Americans fix, while Canadians cope.

(1901 – 1978) anthropologist
Canada People Places

I like Mexico; it’s so… Mexican.

(1908 – 1990) American actress
Places TV/Movie Quotes