Subject: Places (Page 4)

There is a theory that sooner or later anything in America that is any fun at all will be ruined by people from California.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Places

Few things can be less tempting or dangerous than a Greek woman of the age of thirty.

(1789–1844) British traveller & author
Insults Places

If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
America People Situations

Small Town: Where everybody is interested in what the Joneses will name the latest baby, while a big city is where they worry about what the zoo will call the new elephant.

Definitions Places

Zoo: A place of refuge where wild animals are protected from people.

Animals Definitions Places

President Bush has just one question for the American voters: is the rich person you're working for better off now than they were 4 years ago?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
America Money

I live in a very dangerous part of Los Angeles… it’s called Los Angeles.

(1972 – ) American stand-up comedian
Places

Take a cruise down to the Virgin’s Island.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Places

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States; ask any Indian.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
America Places Problems

My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs.

(1969 – ) American singer-songwriter & musician
People Places Travel

Do you think pandas know they’re Chinese and they’re taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?

(1977 – ) Australian comedian
Animals Places

I came from a real tough neighborhood; I bought a waterbed and found a guy at the bottom of it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Places

Nothing wrong with Southern California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

(1915 – 1983) American-Canadian fiction writer
Places

Long experience has taught me that in England nobody goes to the theater unless he or she has bronchitis.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
England Entertainment Places

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind – a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs God Places

I get to go to lots of overseas places… like Canada.

(1981 – ) American singer
Intelligence Misspokements Places

It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Places Politics

Once all the Germans were warlike and mean, but that couldn't happen again; we taught them a lesson in 1918 and they've hardly bothered us since then.

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist
Places

In America, we won't let somebody who's terminally ill have the right to take their own life… but yet, we'll let Evel Knievel jump over the Grand Canyon with a damn moped.

American stand-up comedian
America Places

Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Places

The French are funny, sex is funny, and comedies are funny… yet no French sex comedies are funny.

(1954 – ) cartoonist, screenwriter, producer & creator of The Simpsons
Entertainment Film Places Reviews/Criticism