Subject: Relationships » Dating (Page 2)

I'm dating again, which is very exciting… 'cause I'm married.

comedian
Dating Relationships

When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky… a woman already knows.

Dating Men People Sex Women

I once dated a girl that was wild. I took her to a bar. She gave the mechanical bull her phone number.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Dating Relationships

I was dating an infectious disease doctor, 'cause… two birds.

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Dating Relationships

I change girlfriends every seven years, a habit I picked up from broken mirrors.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Dating Girlfriends People Relationships

I wish that there was a restaurant named “I don't care,” so I'd finally know where my girlfriend was talking about.

(1979 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
Dating Food/Drink Relationships

I'm always looking for meaningful one-night stands.

(1935 – 2002) English actor, comedian, composer & musician
Dating Relationships Sex

I refuse to go out with a man whose ass is smaller than mine.

(1960 – ) American actress
Dating Men TV/Movie Quotes

Whenever I’m about to have sex with a girl, I play it smart and just automatically assume she has herpes; because that way I don’t have to tell her about my herpes.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Dating Health Sex

My fiancé and I are having a little disagreement; what I want is a big church wedding with bridesmaids and flowers and a no-expense-spared reception; what he wants is to break off our engagement.


Dating Marriage Relationships

You know what they say: ‘Once you go black… your parents don’t talk to you anymore.'

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Dating People Relationships

How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

Appearance Dating Murphy’s Laws People Relationships

It’s not a date. We’re just agreeing to eat at the same table.

(1942 – ) American singer-songwriter, actress, writer, film producer & director
Dating Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

I can do some things now that I couldn't do when I was 17, like date high school girls.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian
Age Dating Girls People Relationships Young

The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid; girls got pinned, not nailed.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Age Dating Sex

My girlfriend and I almost didn't have the second date because on the first date I didn't open the car door for her… I just swam to the surface.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Dating Relationships Situations

Incest: in many parts of the Bible Belt, the most popular form of dating.

American author
Dating Relationships Sex

A man who was loved by 300 women singled me out to live with him… Why? … I was the only one without a cat.

(1952 – ) comedian
Animals Cats Dating Relationships

I used to be afraid of relationships; someone would ask me out and I'd say, 'Just take my purse, don't hurt me!'

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Dating Fear Relationships

I broke up with this girl… I can't tell you her real name, of course, because – well, she didn't tell me her real name.

comedian
Dating People Relationships

Blind Date: When you expect to meet a vision and he turns out to be a sight.

Dating Definitions Relationships