Subject: Sex (Page 33)

The Beginners Guide to Sex In the Afterlife

Book Titles Sex

The only thing I liked about camping was the fact that you can be drunk and have dirty feet, and you still had a pretty good chance of hooking up.

comedian
Activities Sex

If you use the electric vibrator near water, you may come and go at the same time.


Sex Things

In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.

(1754 – 1838) French prime minister & diplomat
People Sex

My girlfriend said she wanted me to dominate her; so I said, “OK, let’s play Scrabble.”

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian
Intelligence Sex

I've seldom seen a horny player walk into a bar and not let out exactly what he did for a living.

(1947 – ) professional baseball player
Baseball Occupations Sex Sports Work

I was making love to this girl and she started crying; I said “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said “No, I hate myself now.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Sex

My brain? … It’s my second favorite organ.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Abstinence is a perversion.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Sex

Sex is better than talk… talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Communication Conversation Sex Speech

The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people and don't come in clearly enough.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Entertainment Sex Television

I like to date school teachers; if you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Dating Sex

Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell; the other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love.

(1945 – ) American country/folk musician & song writer
Beliefs Life Places Religion Sex

Nobody in their right mind would call me a nymphomaniac; I only sleep with good-looking men.

(1954 – ) British poet, novelist, travel writer & journalist
People Relationships Sex

Easy: Used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

Definitions People Sex Women

The only reason I feel guilty about masturbation is because I do it so badly.

(1942 – ) Canadian comedian, actor, writer, director & author
Sex

I feel like Adam when he said to Eve, “Back up, I don't know how big this gets.”

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Sex Situations

Why women don’t blink during foreplay… not enough time.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
People Sex Time Women

Last time I was here a girl asked me for sex; I had to disappoint her… we had sex.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Sex

If you want to stop two people from having sex, let them get married

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Marriage Sex

I believe that sex is the most wonderful and beautiful thing that money can buy.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Money Sex