Subject: Sex (Page 33)

Sex is a pleasurable exercise in plumbing, but be careful or you'll get yeast in your drain tap.

1944) is an American writer & screenwriter

Nobody ever had to steal Georgie's affections – he gave them away at the drop of a skirt.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Aussie Kiss: Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

Images You Should Not Masturbate To

My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

I rely on my personality for birth control.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger

When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying her to leave.

If you want to stop two people from having sex, let them get married

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host

Men get laid, but women get screwed.

(1908 – 1999) English writer

Only thing that’s worse than walking in on your parents making love is walking in on your grandparents making love.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor

Sex doesn’t have to be taught; it’s something most of us are born with.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign

Sex is emotion in motion.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Money is a powerful aphrodisiac, but flowers work almost as well.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author

Having to read a footnote resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids.

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

(1946 – ) filmmaker, actor & writer

I’m going down so often these days you’d think I was making a blue movie.

English boxer

I feel like a million tonight… but one at a time.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Impotent: Willy-nilly.

I’m not a good lover, but at least I’m fast.

(1958 – ) standup comedian, actor, game show host & photographer

A lot of people are very critical of modern reproductive processes without understanding all the ins and outs.

(1940 – ) English professor, medical doctor, scientist & politician