Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 10)

I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
Golf Sports

Golf giveth and golf taketh away, but it taketh away a hell of a lot more than it giveth.

South African professional golfer
Golf Sports

The least thing upsets him on the links; he missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the adjoining meadows.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics Golf Sports

A woman I know is engaged to a real golf nut.  They are supposed to get married next Saturday…but only if it rains.

Golf Marriage Sports

Until you play it, St. Andrews looks like the sort of real estate you couldn't give away.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

There are two things that won’t last long in this world – dogs that chase cars and pros that putt for pars.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

When Lee [Trevino] and Jack [Nicklaus] win, it is good for golf; when I win, it is better.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Sports

You know you’re getting old when you start watching golf on TV and enjoying it.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist
Age Entertainment Golf Old Television

Go ahead and putt, you are not interrupting my conversation. 


Golf Sports

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

(1907 – 1987) American journalist & author
Golf Sports

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off; I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Alcohol Golf Sports

The only way to avoid hitting a tree is to aim at it.

Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a 1-iron in his bag, and squinty eyes.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

Absentee: A missing golfing peg.

Definitions Golf Sports

I like to play in the low 70′s… if it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports

Hockey is a sport for white men; basketball is a sport for black men; golf is a sport for white men dressed like pimps.

professional golfer
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Golf Sports

Golf is not just a good walk ruined, it’s also the act of hitting things violently with a stick ruined.

British stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Golf Sports

The reason they call if ‘golf’ is that all the other four-letter words were used up.

Golf Sports

Hole-In-One: An occurrence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole on a single shot by a golfer playing alone.

Definitions Golf Sports

It is so long it’s the first time I’ve had to take into account the curvature of the earth.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports