Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 17)

Golf is not just a good walk ruined, it’s also the act of hitting things violently with a stick ruined.

British stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Golf Sports

Tee your ball high… the air offers less resistance than dirt.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Sports

Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

A well-adjusted man is one who can play golf as if it were a game.

Golf Sports

Never putt until the cup stops moving.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

While playing golf today I hit two good balls… I stepped on a rake.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Golf Sports

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Golf Insults Intelligence

I lost 150 lbs. if you include my wife.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

Win and you are the superior being in all the universe; lose, and may the fleas of a million rodents, infect your every orifice.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

I’m a golfer – not an athlete.

professional golfer
Golf Misspokements Sports

I can tell you one thing. I've done this my way. I don't have anybody to blame for this win but me, and I love it.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

If I needed advice from my caddie, he'd be hitting the shots and I'd be carrying the bag.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Gimme:  An agreement between two losers who can't putt.

(1907 – 1987) American journalist & author
Golf Situations Sports

Columbus went around the world in 1492; that isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Those who the gods seek to destroy first, learn how to play golf.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Golf Sports

Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.

(1882 – 1956) English author, (Winnie-the-Pooh) poet, writer, & playwright
Golf Sports

It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and stare at the cart girl's tits all day if you are performing brain surgery.

Golf Occupations Sports Work

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by an occasional miracle.

Golf Sports

I figured out why they took out 8,000 trees at Oakmont. It's so people won't hang themselves.

professional golf caddie
Golf Sports

I read the greens in Spanish, but putt in English.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Language Sports

Golf: A long walk broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Definitions Golf Sports