Subject: Sports » Hockey (Page 2)

You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.

(1961 – ) Canadian hockey player & owner

Hockey would be a great game… if played in the mud.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist

Lunch is on me.

(1969 – ) Canadian ice hockey player & executive

I'd like to play Columbus. [of the International League]

American hockey player

The playoffs separate the men from the boys, and we found out we have a lot of boys in our dressing room.

Canadian hockey general manager

My teeth weren't that good to begin with, so hopefully I can get some better ones.

Canadian hockey player

Playing goal is like being shot at.

professional hockey goalie

Every time I get injured, my wife ends up pregnant.

Canadian hockey player & general manager

Optimistically, you hope someday you’ll be in a magazine. Of course, your mom hopes it’s Sports Illustrated or something like that.

American hockey player & coach

We are the sort of people who make health insurance popular.

Canadian hockey goaltender

High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing… everything else is just figure skating. 

They do a lot of talking, but I'm not sure they actually understand each other.

Canadian hockey player

Gretzky knows it time to retire now — he's finally slow enough to get hit by Luke Richardson.

American sportswriter

If I’m half the coach on the bench that I was in the stands, we’ll have no problems.

Canadian hockey player

He said he wanted to go play in his home country and village; I guess every village needs an idiot.

Yes, and I also like jumping out of tall buildings.

American hockey goaltender

Bob Kelly was so dumb, they shoulda written his name on the Stanley Cup in crayon.

American sports announcer

We appreciate all the fans that are here, but we really respect the five or six who stayed with us all year.

(1962 – ) American ice hockey goaltender

No, I don't fight anybody I played against in Juniors. I think everyone I played Juniors with is dead now.

Canadian hockey player & coach

He just got me in the right spot. In the small of the back. A good, clean, dirty hit… not that I didn't deserve it.

American hockey player

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer