Subject: Sports (Page 10)

He (Satchel Paige) threw the ball as far from the bat and as close to the plate as possible.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

If you’ve only got one day to live, come see the Toronto Maple Leafs… it’ll seem like forever.

hockey announcer
Hockey Sports Time

The secret is to have eight great players and four others who will cheer like crazy.

American basketball coach
Basketball Sports

He asked me if he could marry Carrie before he asked her.  I said: You want to what?’ I thought he was just going to ask for more ice time.

Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager
Hockey Sports

I’m trying to kick your ass… in a nice way.

American professional tennis player
Sports

The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name… and they say golf is a quiet game.

Golf Sports

The first guy who lays a finger on this blind old man is fined fifty bucks!

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

I'd spend six months behind bars to have him on my team.

Canadian hockey player & broadcaster
Hockey Sports

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Fat Golf Sports

Throw strikes – home plate don't move.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

If Mike Tyson gets any better, he’ll be hitting Lou Rawls while he sings the National Anthem.

American television personality
Boxing Sports

Playing goal is like being shot at.

professional hockey goalie
Hockey Sports

I miss the putt. I miss the putt. I miss the putt. I make the putt.

Spanish professional golfer
Golf Sports

Are you any relation to your brother Marv?

basketball player
Misspokements Sports

1. The more tangled your line is, the better the fishing is around you. 2. The time available to go fishing shrinks as the fishing season draws nearer. 3. The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Corollary: The more elaborate and costly the equipment, the greater chance of having to stop at the fish market on the way home.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Sports

It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and stare at the cart girl's tits all day if you are performing brain surgery.

Golf Occupations Sports Work

Slumps are like a soft bed; they're easy to get into and hard to get out of.

(1947 – ) professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

Morcelli has four fastest 1500-meter times ever; and all those times are at 1500 meters.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

Was Wayne Gretzky sick?

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Activities Computers Games Sports Things

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt… the rest can never be mastered.

(1946 – ) British politician
Golf Sports