Subject: Sports (Page 107)

Not a good night for Zola Budd. She died on the last lap and finished fourth.

Misspokements Sports

Sparky is the only guy I know who’s written more books than he has read.

baseball broadcaster
Misspokements Reading/Writing Sports

We are the sort of people who make health insurance popular.

Canadian hockey goaltender
Health Hockey Sports

Now it comes to a simple equation – who can stand the heat.

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements Sports

He's the only guy I know who can go 4 for 3.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Beavers Trap Trojans

Headlines Sports

I wouldn’t ever set out to hurt anybody deliberately unless it was, you know, important – like a league game or something.

professional football player
Football Sports

Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

(1949 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Golf Sports

In golf, I'm one under; one under a tree, one under a rock, and one under a bush…

Canadian hockey goalie & coach
Golf Sports

Fred Titmus has two short legs, one of them square.

Misspokements Sports

Let's go out there and win one for the quipper.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

The New York Jets have been given permission to sell Girl Scout Cookies.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Football

He’s about the size of a lot of guys that size.

football coach
Football Misspokements Sports

You want a messenger boy, call Western Union.

American football player
Football Sports

Never worry about missing a field goal. Just blame the holder and think about making the next one.

professional football kicker (once seen wearing a watch during a game)
Football Sports

Tiger Woods Plays With Own Balls, Nike Says

Headlines Sports

There are three things that go on a fighter, first your reflexes go, then your chin goes, and then your friends go.

1922 – 2006) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

A lot of horses get distracted; it’s just human nature.

Horse trainer
Misspokements Sports

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Golf Sports

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports