Subject: Sports (Page 107)

He had eyes in his ears.

American basketball announcer
Basketball Sports

I call Los Angeles the city of alternatives. If you don't like mountains, we got the ocean. If you don't like Knott's Berry Farm, we've got Disneyland. If you don't like basketball, we've got the Clippers.

American television personality
Basketball Sports

Allen S. Sothoron pitched his initials off yesterday.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Baseball Sports

I slept like a baby. Every two hours I woke up and cried.

Canadian hockey coach
Hockey Sports

The place was cold, and I got the feeling that the fans would have enjoyed baseball more if it had been played with a hockey puck.

professional baseball player
Baseball Hockey Sports

Street hockey is great for kids. It’s energetic, competitive, and skillful… and best of all it keeps them off the street.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Misspokements Sports

Some coaches pray for wisdom; I pray for 260-pound tackles… they’ll give me plenty of wisdom.

(1932 – ) American football coach
Football Intelligence Sports Wisdom

Dave Wottle has completely misjudged this race… and here comes Wottle!

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

There are too many weird Olympic events now, like that one where the gymnasts prance around the mat swirling a piece of ribbon… it’s called ‘rhythmic gymnastics’ – unless you’re five, then it’s called ‘playing.’

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian
Sports

My clubs are well used, but unfortunately not used well.

Golf Sports

Sure, it's nice to win; but there's only one thing that's important to me and that's the money we're going to get, win or lose.

professional baseball player
Baseball Money Sports

The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

I was three over, one over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.

(1953 – ) American baseball player
Golf Sports

[I employ] two offenses: the GMA, or "general milling around," and the Daylight Offense, as in "The first guy who sees daylight after he crosses mid-court shoots."

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

Hating the Yankees isn’t part of my “act,” it is one of those exquisite times when life and art are in perfect conjunction.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Sports

The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling and then pick it up.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Sports

I’d like to borrow [Cassius] Clay’s body for 48 hours. There are three guys I’d like to beat up and four women I’d like to make love to.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Appearance Body Boxing Sports

That one is so far right Michael Moore could make a documentary about it.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

I've got a tip on the market for you fellows, buy Pennsylvania Railroad – because by tomorrow night about a dozen of you bums will be riding on it.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

I don’t care what the tape says… I didn’t say it.

football coach
Misspokements Sports

Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth; it is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Age Golf Sports Success Wealth