Subject: Sports (Page 107)

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball; I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

(1934 – ) American baseball player
Baseball Golf

I’m not allowed to comment on lousy officiating.

professional football general manager
Football Misspokements Sports

The announcement of the disqualification was greeted by booze from the spectators at the pool.

Alcohol Food/Drink Sports

Yes, and I also like jumping out of tall buildings.

American hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

Trying to hit him is like trying to eat Jell-O® with chopsticks.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

I hit him with body shots that would have brought down cities.

American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

Rugby is a beastly game played by gentlemen; soccer is a gentlemen's game played by beasts; football is a beastly game played by beasts.

Football Sports

I can see them buying Mauer the city of Duluth.

baseball sports writer & analyst
Baseball Sports

Reporter: What did you think about the collective bargaining proposal?

Payton: (making $2,700,000 per year): People would have to cut their lifestyle, and they’d live like penny-pinchers.

professional football coach
Misspokements Money Sports

Darryl Gibson has been quite magnificent coming inside Andrew Mehrtens, and I’m looking forward to seeing more of the same today.

New Zealand rugby player & commentator
Misspokements Sports

I saw on HBO they were advertising a boxing match: “It's a fight to the finish” … that's a good place to end.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Boxing Sports

All there is to bull riding is to put one leg on each side of the bull and make an ugly face for eight seconds.

American professional rodeo champion
Sports

People say I'll be drafted in the first round, maybe even higher.

American football player
Football Sports

The gap between the two cars is 0.9 of a second, which is less than one second.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports Time

You don’t have enough smarts to straighten this out. This is unstraightable.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Intelligence Misspokements Sports

Colin Meads is the kind of player you expect to see emerging from a ruck with the remains of a jockstrap between his teeth.

Papua New Guinean rugby player
Sports

I think you enjoy the game more if you don't know the rules. Anyway, you're on the same wavelength as the referees.

Welsh rugby player
Sports

A puck is a hard rubber disc that hockey players strike when they can’t hit one another. 

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Hockey Sports

The Orlando Magic were so bad last season, the cheerleaders stayed home and phoned in their cheers.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive
Basketball Sports

I was so bad, I couldn’t have driven Miss Daisy home.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

I go from locker to locker, pretending the guys are here. You know, give them a little bit of a pep talk. It must be working, because we haven't lost a game yet.

hockey coach
Hockey Sports