Subject: Sports (Page 2)

My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.

professional football player

God said to Faldo, as He once said to Nicklaus, "You will have the skills like no other." Then he whispered to Ballesteros, as he whispered to Palmer, "But they will love you more."

American sportswriter

The problem with being Comeback Player of the Year is it means you have to go somewhere before you can come back.

Dutch-born American baseball pitcher

I can see them buying Mauer the city of Duluth.

baseball sports writer & analyst

We'll have an offensive team and a defensive team, and the other team will be in charge of carrying me off the field.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

He could hit .300 with a fountain pen.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host

We're looking forward to building the type of team the Rangers are able to buy.

Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager

Federer Excited By His Own Form, Eager to Reclaim Top Spot

Magri has to do well against the unknown Mexican who comes from a famous family of five boxing brothers.

British sports commentator

The main problem with keeping your eye on the ball is you have to take your eye off your opponent.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist

When I broke in, they didn’t have bats – we just grabbed the branch of a tree.

American baseball pitcher

The only way you can check Gretzky is to hit him when he is standing still singing the national anthem.

Boston Bruins general manager

Glenn McGrath joins Craig McDermott and Paul Reiffel in a three-ponged prace attack.


Managing a baseball team is like trying to make chicken salad out of chicken shit.

American baseball player

Have another donut you fat pig!

Canadian hockey player & general manager

The devoted golfer is an anguished soul who has learned a lot about putting, just as an avalanche victim has learned a lot about snow.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter

Magic Johnson is the best player who plays on the ground, and Michael Jordan is the best player who plays in the air.

American basketball player

You do a lot of praying, but most of the time the answer is “no.”

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

In my time, I've had my knee out, broken my collarbone, had my nose smashed, a rib broken, lost a few teeth, and ricked my back; but as soon as I get a bit of bad luck I'm going to quit the game.

I've never scored a hat-trick before… not even playing against my sister in the yard at home.

Australian rugby player

I really lack the words to compliment myself today.

skier