Subject: Sports (Page 75)

Giving Magic the basketball is like giving Hitler an army, Jesse James a gang, or Genghis Khan a horse.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Basketball Sports

It is committee meetings, called huddles, separated by outburst of violence.

(1941 – ) columnist, commentator & editor
Football Sports

The devoted golfer is an anguished soul who has learned a lot about putting, just as an avalanche victim has learned a lot about snow.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter
Golf Sports

Golf: An ineffectual attempt to direct an uncontrollable sphere into an inaccessible hole with instruments ill-adapted to the purpose.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Golf Sports

Nutrition makes me puke.

(1929 – ) American baseball player who had a well-publicized bipolar disorder
Baseball Food/Drink Sports

Hole-In-One: An occurrence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole on a single shot by a golfer playing alone.

Definitions Golf Sports

Hockey is a game played by six good players and a home team.

Hockey Murphy’s Laws Sports

He's great to the old guys. He's got one trainer just to treat varicose veins.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor
Age Football Old Sports

What’s the toughest thing in a professional football game? … Its being the mother of the quarterback.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Family Football Mothers Sports

The two most important jobs in America are held by foreigners – room service and goal-kicking.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Occupations People Sports Work

Cricket is a game which the British, not being a spiritual people, had to invent in order to have some concept of eternity.

British politician
People Sports Time

From the waist down, Earl Campbell has the biggest legs I have ever seen on a running back.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Misspokements Sports

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents' luck.

Golf Situations Sports

I’ll have a cup of tea.

Kenyan runner
Sports

If I wasn't a golfer, I would still be miserable – but not as miserable.

(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer
Golf Sports

Coaches who start listening to fans wind up sitting next to them.

professional basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports

The best way to die is to sit under a tree, eats lots of bologna and salami, drink a case of beer and blow up.

(1925 – ) American professional football player
Death Football Sports

He won the bronze medal in the 1976 Olympics so he’s used to being out in front.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

There is a thin line between genius and insanity, and in Larry's case it was sometimes so thin you could see him drifting back and forth.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports

The Americans sowed the seed, and now they have reaped the whirlwind.

English athlete & politician
Misspokements Sports

It's like embalming. Nobody likes it, but somebody has to do it.

American football player
Football Sports