Subject: Sports (Page 94)

He’s on 90… 10 away from that mythical figure.

British sports commentator
Malaprops Sports

I’m not fat.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

Call them pros, call them mercenaries – but in fact they are just grown-up kids who have learned on the frozen creek or flooded corner lot that hockey is the greatest thrill of all.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

One hundred years of experience has demonstrated that the game is temporary insanity practiced in a pasture.

American sports journalist
Golf Sports

He had a God-given killer instinct.

professional football owner & coach
Football Sports

Golf has more rules than any other game, because golf has more cheaters than any other game.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Activities Golf Sports

What’s the toughest thing in a professional football game? … Its being the mother of the quarterback.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Family Football Mothers Sports

I can tell you it’s a magnificent sensation when the gap opens up like that and you just burst right through.

New Zealand rugby player & commentator
Misspokements Sports

Many Americans follow pro basketball from November through June, for reasons that I found unexplainable, other than the fact that they were overly fascinated with soaring armpits.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter
Basketball Sports

Saying that Howard Cosell quit commensating on boxing because it's sleazy is like saying Nixon quit politics because it's crooked.

sportswriter
Boxing Sports

It does not take a rocket scientist to coach a professional football team, but, of course, I was one of the few who happened to be a rocket scientist.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Intelligence People Self Sports

Football coaches walk across the field after the game and pretend to congratulate the opposing coach; baseball managers head right for the beer.

American sportswriter
Baseball Football Sports

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Golf Sports

I’m hoping for a bench clearing brawl during the warm up so I can go out and grab his stick.

Canadian hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

Give a man a fish and he has food for a day; teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him forf the entire weekend.


Activities Sports

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

I figured out why they took out 8,000 trees at Oakmont. It's so people won't hang themselves.

professional golf caddie
Golf Sports

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Arms Sports

Squash – that’s not exercise, it’s flagellation.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Sports

Nigel Mansell is the only man who goes to Nick Faldo for charisma lessons.

English actor & television personality
Auto racing Insults Sports

I sure hope you’re staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports