Subject: Sports (Page 99)

The Yankees don’t pay me to win every day, just two out of three.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Money Sports

Allen S. Sothoron pitched his initials off yesterday.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Baseball Sports

The way to make coaches think you’re in shape in the spring is to get a tan.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

The worst golf shots always occur when playing with someone you are trying to impress.

Golf Murphy’s Laws People Sports

A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

All I do is hit somebody in the mouth; it's a whole lot easier than working for a living.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports Work

We know how much fans enjoy a good brawl, so we are going to guarantee a fight. If there is not a single five-minute fighting major given to a player, every fan in attendance will receive a free ticket to the following home game.

Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

I don't have anywhere to put my elbows when I putt now.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

Too much ambition is a bad thing to have in a bunker.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

This boxer is doing what is expected of him, bleeding from his nose.

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements Sports

You have to give Pete credit for what he's accomplished; he never went to college and the only book he ever read was The Pete Rose Story.

Ex-wife of Pete Rose
Baseball Sports Success

There'll be two buses leaving the hotel for the park tomorrow. The two o'clock bus will be for those of you who need a little extra work. The empty bus will leave at five o'clock.

professional baseball manager
Sports

Golf is not a game, it’s bondage; it was obviously devised by a man torn with guilt, eager to atone for his sins.

Golf Sports

Dance with the one what brung ya.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Sports

Play some Picasso.

professional basketball player
Misspokements Sports

Advice to anglers: don't take advice from people with missing fingers.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Activities People Sports

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing at you.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Emotions Golf Laughter Sports

The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for a split.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Pretty soon somebody will come out of the dugout with a fork and get him.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.

professional football player
Appearance Body Football Health Sports

When you say you're a padre, people ask when did you become a parent. When you say you're a cardinal, they tell you to work hard because the next step is pope. But when you say you're a Dodger, everybody knows you're in the Major Leagues.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports