Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Success
(Page 10)
The final test of fame is to have a crazy person imagine he is you.
Mel Brooks
(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Success
Celebrity
Sanity
All my life affection has been showered on me, and every forward step I have made has been taken in spite of it.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
People
Self
Success
Affection
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
George Carlin
(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Failure
Success
Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.
Boyle’s Tenth Law
Failure
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Contingency plans
At all those banquets, stars get up and give credit to their coaches and parents; I give credit to no one; I made myself what I am today.
Bob Uecker
(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball
Self
Sports
Success
Career
Never fret for an only son, the idea of failure will never occur to him.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Failure
Problems
Success
Only sons
I am a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn’t have the heart to let him down.
Abraham Lincoln
(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Friends
People
Relationships
Success
Young
Disappointment
The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that is the way to bet.
Damon Runyon
(1990 – 1946) newspaperman & writer
Activities
Success
Betting
About the only problem with success is that it does not teach you how to deal with failure.
Tommy Lasorda
Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball
Sports
Success
The penalty of success is to be bored by the attentions of people who formerly snubbed you.
Mary Wilson Little
(1880 – ?) American author
Success
Successful people are the ones who think up things for the rest of the world to keep busy at.
Don Marquis
(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
People
Success
World
If at first you don’t succeed, blame your parents.
Marcelene Cox
writer
Family
Parents
Success
Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.
Winston Churchill
(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics
Failure
Success
Enthusiasm
This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now.
Bob Newhart
(1929 – ) American comedian & comic actor
Communication
Speech
Success
Stammers
The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."
Johnny Carson
(1925 – 2005) television host
Hollywood
Places
Success
Celebrity
Tradition
There are five stages in the life of an actor: Who’s Mary Astor? … Get me Mary Astor… Get me a Mary Astor type… Get me a young Mary Astor… Who’s Mary Astor?
Mary Astor
(1906 – 1987) American actress
Acting
Age
Entertainment
Success
Actors
Celebrity
Give me two years, and I'll make her an overnight star.
Harry Cohn
(1891 – 1958) American president of Columbia Pictures & producer
Success
Time
Celebrity
Overnight star
Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence; this explains why we have so many stupid leaders.
Sloan Wilson
(1920 – 2003) American writer
Intelligence
Success
Leaders
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin
(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Success
Celebrity
Political success is the ability, when the inevitable occurs, to get credit for it.
Dr. Laurence J. Peter
(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Politics
Success
Credit
Success is like toilet paper; it only seems important when you don’t have it.
Richard Jeni
(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Success
Toilet paper
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