Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Success
(Page 9)
Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence; this explains why we have so many stupid leaders.
Sloan Wilson
(1920 – 2003) American writer
Intelligence
Success
Leaders
Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.
Fran Lebowitz
(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Characteristics
Success
Bad
Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Success
The usual drawback to success is that it annoys one’s friends so.
P.G. Wodehouse
(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Success
About the only problem with success is that it does not teach you how to deal with failure.
Tommy Lasorda
Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball
Sports
Success
I have enemies I’ve never met – that’s fame.
Tallulah Bankhead
(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Success
Enemies
Fame
Success is like toilet paper; it only seems important when you don’t have it.
Richard Jeni
(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Success
Toilet paper
In America any boy may become President and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.
Adlai E. Stevenson
(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
America
People
President
Success
Child
risk
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible… and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Victor Borge
(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Children
Family
Parents
Success
I've searched all the parks in all the cities and found no statues of committees.
G.K. Chesterton
(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Places
Success
Things
Committees
Statues
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Napoleon Bonaparte
(1769 – 1821) French general & politician
Success
Time
Celebrity
Glory
Getting worried there might not be enough talent in America to accommodate all these singing shows.
Natasha Leggero
(1974 – ) American comedian
America
Places
Success
Talent
Give me a couple of years, and I’ll make that actress an overnight success.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Success
Time
Overnight success
Oxymorons
Elvis transcends his talent to the point of dispensing with it altogether.
Greil Marcus
(1945 – ) author, music journalist & cultural critic
People
Situations
Success
Celebrity
Elvis Presley
Talent
Authorization for a project will be granted only when none of the authorizers can be blamed if the project fails but when all of the authorizers can claim credit if it succeeds.
Roger’s Rule
Failure
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Approval
Blame
Credit
Everyone wants to ride with you in the limo, but what you need is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
Oprah Winfrey
(1954 – ) American television host, actress, producer & philanthropist
People
Situations
Success
Celebrity
Limousines
Today’s public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can’t read them either.
Gore Vidal
(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Communication
Reading/Writing
Speech
Success
Celebrity
Public figures
Even the smallest dog can lift its leg on the tallest building.
Jim Hightower
(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Characteristics
Success
Ambition
She said I was afraid of success, which may in fact be true, because I have a feeling that fufilling my potential would really cut into my sittin' around time.
Maria Bamford
(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Success
The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.
Solomon Short
David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Entertainment
Music
Success
Tchaikovsky
War of 1812
Winners
If at first you don't succeed, try try again… then quit; there's no use being a damn fool about it.
W.C. Fields
(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Failure
Situations
Success
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